So last year, I finally (and fully) acknowledged myself as ASEXUAL. For those of you who still don’t know about what ASEXUAL is … Asexuality is “a sexual orientation characterized by a persistent lack of sexual attraction to any gender“. It takes me a long time to arrive to this point. One thing is mostly because asexuality discussion is not something I easily find in my daily life. Coming from a culture where talking about sex is not exactly practiced, I think I discovered the term asexuality (and its possible signs) because of internet and the fact that I read M/M romance for the past 6-7 years. Without that, I always think that I’m an odd duck. A mid thirty woman who never care about sex or being sexually attracted to anyone.
Anyway, I’m not going to talk a lot about that. It’s all a different matter and discussion. It’s not the topic of this post. Instead, I am going to post something that I read yesterday from Asexuality Archive website. I found this particular snippet (from the post : Possible Signs of Asexuality Part 3) to be tickling my funny bone, because it is so totally me.
You often find sex scenes in books/TV/movies to be out of place or boring.
You’re watching a movie when suddenly the male and female leads start going at it for no reason: [fast forward!]
You’re reading a book when suddenly it turns to “heaving bosoms” and “love’s juices”: [next chapter!]
Perhaps it’s a sense of “Ew, icky”, but it doesn’t have to be. More often, it’s a sense of “Why are they doing that? What’s the point? Get back to the story!” Half the time, the sexual encounter is unforgivably contrived. Sometimes you can even imagine the writers meeting with their editor or producer and being told to “sex it up a bit, the ratings are off this year”, and the writers just randomly drawing character names from a hat to decide who should go at it.
OMG, how totally true!! *LOL*
I read a lot of romance since I was a teenager. While yes, I can enjoy reading the sex scenes, but most of the times, I find them quite boring. I often skim sex scenes because it feels like the same-old same-old. Especially those romance stories where the sex scenes seem to be written to replace a plot hole or to move the story forward. Truthfully, I pay attention more on story and characters rather than sex scenes. Sex scenes on books, for me, are basically like whip cream on my frou-frou coffee drink. It is not nice but not always needed.
Of course, it doesn’t mean that I reject sex scenes a hundred percent. To me, the sex scenes on books should feel more like, uhm, a reward. After good unresolved tension and chemistry between the couple. When I get to the point, I should feel like it’s a long time coming. Or at least I should feel like it’s integral of the story. That it is how the couple celebrate their intimacy; something to be cherished rather than just being thrown for the sake of, well, selling the book.
On that note, I also don’t like to watch porn. I found them, icky. I did try a couple of times, watching erotica, and ended up analyzing the mechanics of it. So anytime my friends are talking about the porn stars and how hot they are, I just shrugs and not contribute anything *LOL*
BUT, it doesn’t mean I don’t get horny (I admit that I read erotica/porn to help me relieve that itch). It must be remembered though, that having ‘urges’ is not the same with sexual attraction. Because I don’t exactly fantasize myself in any of this situation nor I want to do it with anyone….